Honeymooners.

Having returned from our wonderful honeymoon adventure to Mexico, I have a new perspective on the term 'cruise people.' In order to continually remember our amazing vacation, I have taken it upon myself to review our trip from my first time cruiser's perspective.

To any and all women whose husband and/or significant other has fallen victim to the enticements of mobile technology, specifically the makings of one Mr. Jobs (may he rest in peace), for you my dear fellow women I have the answer: go on a cruise. Or a honeymoon. Or both, because we did. And for 8 glorious days, I had the complete and undivided love and attention of my husband. It was incredible.

We arrived at the Long Beach 'airport'- I like to think of it as a trailer with an outdoor baggage claim- when we realized we didn't have a way to the cruise ship. Luckily, a very nice Asian man offered us a ride to the port in his minivan for a cheap price. We gladly accepted. Once we arrived at the port, we glided through a myriad of long lines onto our ship, the Splendor. We were greeted with multiple lunch buffets, and after indulging at the burger bar we navigated our way to our closet sized sleeping area room. Even though we didn't spring for a room with a balcony, window, or soundproof walls, I was quite pleased with our King size bed, until we realized it was two beds pushed together. That's when we realized it was probably time to go eat more food.

When you put a few thousand technology dependant vacationers together on a large boat, the unlimited room service, mini-golf, and pool access easily distracts for the first little while. However, about half way through the ‘Fun day at sea,’ people start to become jaded by the ship's many amenities, and begin to acknowledge that face-to-face social interaction may indeed become a possibility. A whirlwind of social chaos starts to arise, and before you know it you can no longer stand in the buffet lines between 9 a.m. and noon because sobriety minus technology produces awkward forced conversation. Luckily, Alex and I realized this early on, and engaged in non-stop conversations and/or public affection, both of which seemed to deter the looming conversationalists.

Before our first dinner night in the dining room, we started to wonder who we would be sharing a dinner table with. As dinner arrived we were pleasantly surprised to be seated at a table with an ocean view, a waitress named ChaCha, and three other young, honeymooning couples who delighted in people watching as much as we did. It made for some fabulous dinner conversation, a good laugh or two, and a few new friendships.

Now, there are two dinner nights on the cruise that are "formal" nights. I was unaware that a simple skirt and heels would classify me as "dressed down." Just imagine that you are at prom and you forgot your dress and then- yeah, that pretty much sums it up. Good thing feeling self conscious on a cruise ship is next to impossible. I can't complain about my date though, he looked so dapper as always. 

After dinner, as our stomachs bulged from multiple appetizers, entrees, and desserts, we would typically attempt to go see a show. I say attempt due to the quality of entertainment presented at these shows, however, the American Idol-esk auditions we watched were pretty incredible. Debbie- if you ever read this, you stole the show.

The following days consisted of similar schedules: sleep, eat, movie, sleep, eat, lay outside slathered in SPF 50 due to a wrinkle conscious husband, shower, eat, sleep. It was perfect.

Then the port days came- woo hoo! 

Cabo was similar to walking into a car dealership with 5 cars, and 200 salesmen. After an hour of entertaining many adventurous prospects, we finally decided on a glass bottom boat salesman to take us to Lover's beach and then forget to pick us up. Luckily, Lover's beach had us so mesmerized by its silky soft sand and beautiful scenery that we weren't even mad. We traveled around the town via walking and bicycle taxi, which took us to the ritzy part of Mexico where we paid homage to Van Halen by eating at Cabo Wabo. It was undoubtedly the most delicious and expensive coconut shrimp I will ever eat. We zip lined through the rainforest in Puerto Vallarta, and played with a dancing parrot while feeding him possibly fatal small amounts of chocolate. We spent two fantastic Spanish filled days in Cabo, one in Puerto Vallarta, and loved it all. 

Our trip was over before we knew it. As we arrived back in Salt Lake City, semi-tan but wrinkle free, we were greeted with a graduation party for Alex. We were able to tell our story about 497 times which, as everyone knows, telling the story of your vacation is just like re-living it all over again. It was wonderful. 

We loved our honeymoon, and we love each other. It's just as simple as that! I'm already thinking of planning a second one..